can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I feel great
I just peed on a car
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Operation Purity has been aborted
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
