So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
high people should be assigned attendants
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
