dude i'm inner monologue high
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
