If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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