i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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