dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize