Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
