Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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