yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
