if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
His nipple licking is glorious
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