STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
