We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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