when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize