It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
