Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
