I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
