plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
