You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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