i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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