Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Operation Purity has been aborted
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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