wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
