I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
