I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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