I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
