would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
