I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I did not marry a roomba.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
