.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
