genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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