i would punch a child for taco bell
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize