Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
