you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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