Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
