i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
