take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
