Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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