nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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