He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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