Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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