I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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