Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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