What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
