also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
