Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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