Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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