i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Oh god it's open bar.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
