I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
