remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
