I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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