OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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