a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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