I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
