Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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