You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
