I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
