ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
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