found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize