so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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