did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize