You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
If that was your dad, he is hot
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
