Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
