found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
