I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
