Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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