I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm đđ»đ
We are so blessed
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Itâs just a penis. Itâs like every other penis except itâs not the one youâre married to. Ride it or donât ride it, but donât agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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