So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
