just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I am full of burrito and curiosity
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
