There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I could fuck to npr.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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