tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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