she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
