she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
