By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
