I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I am puke
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Lo siento on account of my penis...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
